There were two sentences running through my mind this morning.
#1 “Endings are merely beginnings”.
#2 “The truth, answer, or solution is found in its opposite.”
My mind was jumping from one rabbit hole into another with the possibilities. I decided to attempt to quiet and slow everything down up there by attempting my daily practice of a 20-minute meditation…that was almost pointless.
I say almost, because it turned out to be a lesson in #2. I wasn’t able to quiet my mind, in fact, it only argued about everything we should be writing, and we were just wasting time. At the end of the 20 minutes my guides made it clear they wanted me to contemplate “resistance” today. I immediately chuckled at the irony and their tactics on getting me to a point of realization or to any aha type of moment…I can be so bullheaded and blind sometimes; they literally need me to trip over it to see it.
And then a funny thing happened…I became momentarily resistant about writing about resistance. I argued, I am pretty sure I have talked about this before, more than once. I again realized I am being resistant. Why am I resistant? Obviously, it’s hidden resistance that I must work on, tidying up. So, I decide to "go with it" and trust the process; something I am still learning to master.
Change “normally” happens at a fairly unnoticeable or slow pace for most humans, you look in the mirror one day and actually see that you are not 16, 21, or 35 years old any longer. The paint has faded on your house. You have to turn the music down while driving so you can see better. You don’t care about the things you used to care about so much. Things you used to dismiss are now somehow important. Instead of resisting or idolizing your parents you actually realize you act just like them, they did the best they knew how, and they were not so awful or so great after all. This list is endless, you get my point. And if you do not get my point, my point, it just happens, the pace was slow enough that you didn’t notice or barely noticed until it was there, and because it’s there and it is a part of you, you just accept it. There is no denial or resistance of the change because it is staring you in the face as your “evidence”.
I don’t know if you have all noticed, but we have been moving, shifting, and reshaping over the last 5 years at a radically fast pace. And it is not slowing down, it is only gaining momentum. This upcoming year is another for a lot of disruption, chaos, change, and transformation.
What do we feel when everything is shifting and moving around so quickly? Confusion, irritation, denial, stubbornness, arguments, frequent illnesses, increased anxiety, depression, hopelessness, helplessness, victim mentality, blaming, avoidant behaviors, trauma responses, quitting, division, career changes, moves, overall general feeling of being unsettled…all the time, or with only short breaks of reprieve. Part of the reason for all of the yuck responses above is our procrastination, willful ignorance, or resistance to the changes in general.
Humanity has been asking for change on all sorts of levels since the beginning of time, that is how change happens. We cannot order and manifest change without going through change. Did we all expect that we just have to ask and magically whatever change you ordered would not require you to change? I am being a bit facetious when I bring up the cliche “be the change you want to see” as it really can bite you in the ass here.
Do not ask for or expect change in others, the situation, or the world if you are not able to look at or have a willingness to do the same. A balancing act will occur, that is nature. The phrase "be careful what you ask for" really comes into play. There is no going back. The momentum of the changes we consciously or unconsciously ordered have started and are not slowing down, they are only gaining speed. Our wishes are being granted. The how, is not necessarily up to us all the time. Just because it is not happening the way you had thought it would doesn't mean you didn't order the change. When we are out of balance something will always come in to counter it…otherwise we are going down like the Titanic.
Ready or not. We can choose to go with change in a state of flow and learn to trust the process or we can go kicking and screaming, it is always our choice. It would be wise to consider how you want to come out on the other side when making this choice.
My resistance this morning is a bit confusing to me; I have seen, been cheering on, and for the most part been in the “go with it” and learning to trust the process flow state since 2015…I have had my moments, don’t get me wrong. My guides said this was hidden resistance. To be fair, isn’t it always hidden until you have another moment of looking in the mirror, waking up, seeing the truth staring back at you?
For the most part, I feel like I have been ahead of the resistance game because I have been using a few “cheat codes” along the way. I am resistant to guessing because I feel like it is a waste of time, just give me the truth, I can handle it. I recognize I am also resistant to waste. I am going to go with the flow and trust this game they want me to play will take us where we need to go.
I do not enjoy the guessing game…more resistance…not wanting to play this silly mind game with myself, and all of you I suppose. Why am I resistant to the guessing game…well, because I just want the truth, I want certainty. That is funny, this morning I had looked up the word opposite the word “limbo” …I don’t know why, but I was surprised to see the word “certainty”. I suppose it is limbo’s opposite.
Why did I look up the word opposite of limbo this morning? Because it was language I had used last year to describe what or where I was at the time. After seeing its opposite this morning, I know that I am no longer in a state of “limbo”, as a level of certainty has re-entered my being. However, there are a ton of things I am indeed uncertain about. Maybe this is a balancing act. Recalibration of sorts.
In the past, I would need a certain level of certainty to move forward in certain areas of my life. Other areas of my life, not so much, a "let’s wing it" attitude would suffice. I am not certain I need those levels of certainty any longer. And areas of my life I used to "wing" are now more carefully considered or handled with care. A recalibration did take place, change, that I barely noticed. I suppose those changes occurred subconsciously as I was working on healing the other parts of me.
Back to hidden resistance. I now ask the question, is there a part or parts of me that are carrying and hiding resistance…and to what? I see and feel the healed parts of me, we have new ways of handling and looking at things that are now coming naturally, things I used to be resistant to have shifted. I bet, if I had someone else here, they could totally just tell me…hell, you reading or listening have probably already figured it out!!
I was resistant to writing about resistance again…yet, here I am.
Yesterday, I decided it was time to fix a wall I painted 2 years ago. I have hated this wall but didn’t know what I wanted to do with it, so I just left it. And continued hating it for 2 years ... bullheaded and procrastinating the fix, applying an "it's fine" attitude to it. It's not fine. It sucks.
Here it is folks…the hidden resistance…so silly, really. I pull out the leftover paint I had…the paint had changed…. settled. I mean, it had been 2 years. Instead of working smarter, I ended up working harder…I wanted to fix it and fix it fast with paint I already had paid for - what I wanted and what I got - 2 completely different things. I stirred the paint…the paint looked fine. Until it was on the wall. The wall looked horrible. I didn’t want to purchase new paint. I didn’t want to waste the money, time, energy I had already put into paint and this wall. This last statement folks, is metaphorical…I hope you are getting it in this moment as I finally am here.
I was attempting to use the old solution that caused the problem in the first place to fix the problem. INSANITY.
It is pure insanity to think we can use the old solutions to fix the problems those “solutions” created. We can certainly learn from our errors. We must be able to look at the situation from a new perspective, with new eyes if we want to see a new solution. We need to be willing to approach it with a sense of playfulness, standing on our heads…what does it look like upside down? What does it look like from the opposite? What would a set of fresh eyes see that we totally miss or barely notice because it is just part of us now?
Yesterday, when I saw how the paint was drying, I was annoyed. LOL, I thought the wall needed an energetic clearing…yeah, of sorts, from my negativity!
What did I do? I considered living with it, accepting, settling again for another 2 years of this wall painted in a way that I despise, with a willful ignorance and a level of procrastination…”it’s fine”. It’s not fine. It sucks. Then I thought to myself…Cheryl, you have been told time and time again, easy is right, what is the path of least resistance to getting this wall the way you want it?
Even though I did not want to part with the $60 for another can of paint…it was the easiest solution. I remembered at that moment I had a rebate I had not yet used. I took a breath, decided to sit with it for a hot minute…aka, several hours. Then suddenly, the resistance was gone, there was a new momentum and attitude about the paint and the wall. I went and got the new can of paint. The gal at the counter mixing the paint asked me if I wanted to list it in their system under a specific project name. Without skipping a beat, I asked her if “Fixing My Fuck-Ups” was a category. It made us both laugh. The paint cost me less than I had expected because of the rebate, I made someone and myself laugh and most importantly... LOL...it took me only 30 minutes to paint the wall with the new paint after I got it home.
The hard way ended up costing me about 8 extra hours. I could beat myself up about “wasting time” …. lol, just like I did in the meditation this morning. Or, I could just not, and instead, just move forward. Moving forward feels better than beating myself up or hanging on to a wall that reminds me how bullheaded and resistant I can be sometimes!
And, now, I ask, was it all a waste of time? Or did we get to this solution, this insight, and a shareable reflection at a radically faster pace than ever before?? I am taking the latter. Did I get annoyed? Yes. Did I get annoyed again this morning? Yes. And now, instead of kicking and screaming, deciding to flow with it and trusting the process, I am once again a changed human with another easier than before lesson under her belt. And all in under 24 hours. It can make you a bit dizzy. There are so many opportunities every day to learn and grow from even the most seemingly "insignificant" moments.
Now I ask all of you, how are you coping, are you coping with all of the change, are you keeping up? It isn't going to slow down. Can you allow this story to help you, help you?
I challenge you today, ask yourself, what hidden resistance is rising to the surface or maybe not so surface that you could get ahead of, moving you into a flow state of change, learning to trust the process versus kicking and screaming. They will be ones that are keeping you in a state of willful ignorance and or procrastination, ones that you want to ignore or apply an "it's fine" attitude to. What are the metaphorical "walls" in your life that need fixing, torn down, or at the very least some new paint? What are you applying "old paint" or old solutions to that perhaps caused the problem in the first place? Time to stand on your head, look at the issues upside down, gain a new perspective. We are consciously and subconsciously getting in our own way all the time. Once you realize this, you are no longer a victim. When you stop being a victim in the life you created, you reclaim your power. Find those hidden treasures behind all those shadows. Make it a game...a lot of you like games.
If you have immediate resistance to the “challenge” …clue…or cheat code here...this might be where you start!
Always with Love & Gratitude,