Harmony Through Chaos & Conflict
Cheryl Levadney & TEAM
2022 – The year of creating my new world(s)
I was informed by an energy healer awhile back that my soul rode in on a green ray of light representing harmony through chaos and conflict. I laughed at the time, yup, describes my life perfectly!
Unless you have been hiding under a rock you may have noticed we are moving through some rough waters. Relationships, systems, all of our “ways” of doing life are collapsing all around us. Our “way” of “being” and moving through our worlds doesn’t quite fit any longer and we are pushed into unfamiliar territory. Secretly I am celebrating inside, “finally”.
You see, I have never felt quite right in these systems, types of relationships, and ways of doing life that seemed to be so easy for others. Everything in my being was screaming “this isn’t right!”, “am I the only one seeing this”, “this doesn’t make any sense”, “WTF” all day long, etc., etc. Another energy worker termed it “you are like a bull in a china shop; others get nervous when you are around because they know you are going to stir things up in their beings that they are not yet ready to look at or deal with. They never know what is going to happen when you are around.”
Yup. You feel Truth when you hear Truth.
Others never understood what I was looking at, sensing, or complaining about. They never understood why I had to be so picky, so sensitive, had to fight for what was “right” versus ignoring what everyone else was, so uncompromising at times. I mean, I tried, so many times I tried to fit in, to conform, to belong. It never fit, and always felt so devasting to my entire being.
Today, well, today I am different. I am finally living in my true being, deeper into my essence I dive each day. If feels better here. I suspect I will be diving deeper everyday for the rest of this lifetime; I hope this is the case. My goal, my main pursuit is to become the best version of myself and then allow every facet of myself to be expressed just as she wants to express herself, not what or how others think she/I should show up.
Even at your best version today, you understand there is more to come tomorrow, all you really must do is show up and refuse to settle for less or compromise any facet of yourself. Some days, to others and maybe yourself it may appear you are not at your best. However, is that accurate? If you were never again to compromise any facet of you, ever again, what would that look like? It might look like non-compliance, going against the crowd, doing something risky, changing the “norm”, rebelliousness, righting “wrongs”, addressing the obvious injustices of the world instead of ignoring, or if needing to nourish and replenish you taking a day off and not showing up for others, instead showing up for yourself. It might look like you have finally lost your mind! I say, lose your mind! Please! Our minds are what get in the way of our hearts, and that feeling in your gut, your precious intuition, your Soul’s True Essence. “I don’t mind losing my mind”. Deep breath.
Yesterday I woke up a bit…“punchy”…I always have a ton of punchlines, intolerance, and an unsettled sort of energy in my body that rises up when I am “punchy”. Now, I have been working on my state of “being” and best version of me for years and it still takes me by surprise sometimes when I do not understand where the punchiness’ origination point lies. I attempted to check in with my intuition, my guides, my body, even my pendulum. “What is this really about?” “What is priority with the space I have in my day today?” My ego was having a terrible time making a decision and all my old tricks were not giving me an answer other than, “it doesn’t matter, just pick one”.
Oddly, I ceded and picked something to work on that had been sitting in my “this might be a good idea someday” box in my brain for at least a good year, and apparently hadn’t been that much of a “priority” for me. One that really seemed far away, no attachment to it, was something new that I had to create, so had no idea if it would even work, and might be a complete waste of the “extra” space/time I had been gifted that day. Honestly, I thought would not even get completed, as I more than likely would have quit in frustration.
Surprisingly enough, I actually completed the task in less than 2 hours, was satisfied with the “product” the first round, and it was up and running immediately!! It has already streamlined a part of my business that frankly had become cumbersome and draining to my energy. As soon as I completed the task, although I didn’t really take note of the connection until this morning my energy had shifted and the rest of the day I was back in my flow and my vibration was high. This new “product”, that really is only for me, has added new “life” to this area I so used to dread! What??!!
This morning I woke early as usual, however my eyelids were heavy…so, I rested for an additional hour. When I decided to get up for the day, I picked up a book I had been reading slowly, a few pages each day, the author was talking about inner chaos. The author was talking about the inner stirring, the restlessness; in reflection an outward projection of my “punchiness” and punchlines.
He was advocating that the best way to express this energy is to create something new, it is your inner weirdness needing to be expressed outwardly in order to put you back into balance and harmony. I stopped reading.
Yesterday came flooding back…It was just a couple of sentences I hadn’t quite gotten to the day before. WHAT??!! This feeling of inner chaos and conflict about making or not making or having trouble making a decision on what to work on, or intolerance of situations or others, etc. etc. was/is about creating something new that comes from me? To make my life easier? No matter how “important” it is to others? No matter which one you choose? As long as it is using that particular energy for creating something new? Holy shit!
Once again, as I have these aha moments often, I had externalized the meaning. I had heard that I had rode in on this green ray of light, I stir shit up for people to get to “truth”, and through healing work get to the harmony part. LOL, sure, that is how it has played out over and over and over again for 40 plus years now…with not-so-great endings for me…maybe benefiting others, but definitely leaving me out of balance, in disharmony, and dissatisfied…I obviously was missing a step!! Or ten!
This morning I see a whole new perspective, I understand the deeper meaning. And I am blown away once again. I am inspired once again. I am more in love with me than I was yesterday. I am an even better version of myself yet again today. Wow. I am humbled, so humbled in these moments of deep insight and understanding.
Harmony through chaos and conflict…my True Essence, Soul’s message to me...
Dearest Cheryl,
When you feel inner chaos and conflict within your being and there is no “reason” for it, this is your inner being, your Essence screaming at you! Create something! I am coming out of our skin dying to create something new! Create the world you want to live in! Create something beautiful! Create something that works for YOU! Create!!!! This will bring your inner being, our Essence into beautiful harmony with this human body and earthly experience.
Thank you for listening yesterday, and again today. Creating THIS to share with others on how to find harmony and balance by creating their own beautifully unique worlds.
Love,
Your Soul, Your Divine Team, Your True Essence
P.S. Keep going!
When is the last time you checked in with your inner being? The last time you went inside? Dove into the deep end? When is the last time you created something new? No matter how big or small that creates a beautiful functioning world for you? A world that brings you back into harmony and balance with all of your being, despite these rough waters we are in?
If you are feeling in harmony and balance with every cell in your body, all that is around you, due to simply listening to your Inner Essence: “just do something, anything new, pick one thing out of that dusty idea box, it doesn’t matter which one!!” Are you not then bringing the world around you into harmony and balance as well? And with little to no effort based on a simple ripple effect versus blaming the feeling on others, external circumstances, or a physical or mental illness?
Your True Essence is waiting for you to let her out…can you feel her?
Filled to the brim and overflowing with Gratitude,
Cheryl Levadney & TEAM
