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Hidden Agendas, Manipulation, & Choice





I do not like the waiting game, I do not like the guessing game. I am not participating in games. Just tell me. Look me directly in the eyes and tell me the truth. No matter what the truth entails. I can handle it. What exactly are you afraid of? I don’t have to agree with you to love you. I can hear everything you have to say, hold space for all the parts of you, everything you have been through, and still love you. When you run from me, you are running from yourself.


I love you, means: I am sharing the love that I already am, with you.

When you say I love you to me: You are sharing the love that you already are, with me.


UNLESS…you are playing games.


I used to enjoy playing games, games of all sorts. Trivia, board games, tether ball, Dr. Mario, puzzle games, etc…I never really enjoyed sports games. At some point along this journey I got really tired of and disgusted by competition. By watching others become ugly while they were competing, if I participated in the competition, it started reflecting back my own ugliness when I was needing to “win”.


I wanted to play but I wanted to play fairly, and I wanted everyone I was playing with, to play fairly. I learned the hard way, more than enough times, most do not play fairly, they play to win ~ Monopoly really sticks out to me here ~ Politics really sticks out to me here. I could be happy for others when they won but if I got ahead, people would get ugly. So, I just stopped playing games involving competition. Even when I go play fetch with myself ~ aka ~ golf, I do not take score, I do not participate in tournaments. I play because I enjoy being outside on a gorgeous day with other people who are playing fetch with themselves testing their focus and what their body can do. I win simply by not competing…because as I am enjoying myself, they become stressed and frustrated with their silly game.


I enjoy “playing” with others, I do not enjoy competing with others. Those two things really do not mesh well together - play and competition. Where did this grand idea originate from anyway?!


Apply this to relationships and communication throughout your daily life. How easy would it be to communicate with one another if everyone stopped playing games?!


What do you want? What do you need? How do you feel?


Is it not harder to play silly games? Wouldn’t it be so easy just to be honest? That includes asking honest direct questions? Giving honest direct answers?


This would mean that everyone would need to drop their hidden agendas and stop manipulating one another. Yes, I said it, you must stop manipulating one another.


Why is everyone trying to “get ahead” of everyone else? Get ahead to where? For what exactly? Do you think there is power here? You win the game of manipulation? Who can outwit who? For a false, fleeting, momentary power? Someone will always be “smarter” than you, stronger than you, faster than you…you will eventually have to balance out this competition karma. And power to do what exactly? How and why did you start playing these silly games within games? You are so confused, you don’t even remember that you are playing games.


Games steal your power.


Do you even know what real power is? I have learned that real power is making the conscious choice to not participate in games anymore.


How do you get out of playing games? You face every part of you that is participating in all the games you agreed to play over the years and make a new choice to NOT participate in them. It is taking a long look in a clean mirror, deeply into your eyes and facing each one. These games are stealing your time, energy, money, health, heart, love, soul, destiny, and life.


There are 2 overarching beliefs that keep you stuck in shitty relationships and shitty communication patterns ~ one or both of these have attached to you and you must know they are both lies.


#1 ~ I’m not good enough

#2 ~ I do not matter.


You became a “victim” and/or “perpetrator” of one or both of these beliefs at some point on this journey.


You are enough and you do matter.


If you believe otherwise, you are just making the choice to participate in the game of “victim”/“perpetrator”. How do you disengage from this game? Whichever “role” you took on…release it. If there is no one to play the victim role, there is no perpetrator. If there is no perpetrator, there is no victim. Opt out. Take your real power back. The power of choice. In every moment. Within every game you are actively participating in. Opt out. Or don’t. It is always your choice.


There are others that have already opted out. They are hanging out watching others continue to "play" the game. Not judging those participating, only remembering the game, unwilling to go back to it, understanding where their real power resides.


Warning: If you opt out of the game "playing" and finally come to know what real power is, your life will permanently change. What you will see and feel cannot be undone. You could try to opt back in…it won’t work, because you cannot unknow and you cannot unsee. There is no going back. Opting out will permanently transform you.


The games are tricky. So tricky. You will face yourself over and over again. A house of mirrors. The denial runs deep. And as long as you continue blaming everything outside of you, you are still in the game. As long as you keep running on the lies of “not good enough” and/or “not mattering”, whether about yourself or others you are still deep in the game. AND there is a part of you that has been convinced at some point that opting out of the game was never an option. In fact, it is the only way to win. I am not talking about opting out of life. I am talking about opting out of all the games and into life.


STEP #1 ~ AWARENESS ~ you are participating in all sorts of games.


STEP #2 ~ RESPONSIBILITY ~ acknowledge the roles, games, manipulation, hidden agendas, etc you have been consciously or unconsciously participating in.


STEP #3 ~ CHOICE ~ continue participating or opt out. It is simple. You must decide if “winning” the game is worth what you are missing out on.


If you want to opt out and facing all the parts of you alone is too overwhelming…ask for help from someone who has already opted out of all the games. No doubt, this is an act of love for yourself. No doubt, this is an act of strength. No doubt, this is an act of bravery. No doubt, it will be the best choice you have ever made. The right time was years ago...the next best time is now.


Always with Love and Gratitude,



Cheryl




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